Hi Traveler, it’s Journey Wilde with Gay Thai Travel, and I need you to picture this for a moment…
It’s 6:47 AM. The speedboat to Phi Phi Island leaves at 7:30. I am standing in my hotel bathroom in Phuket, one hand on the sink, one hand on what I can only describe as optimism, having closed down Zag Club approximately four hours ago. The floor is doing something it legally shouldn’t be doing. There’s glitter somewhere on my neck I cannot account for.
Phi Phi Island, babes. Let’s go.
Now where was I… right. The boat.
Here’s what nobody tells you: the ferry from Rassada Pier on the way to Koh Phi Phi Don takes about 90 minutes. In theory, that’s a nap. In practice, when you’re post-Zag, that’s 90 minutes of praying the Andaman Sea respects your lifestyle choices. Pack ginger chews, an electrolyte drink, and every last shred of your dignity — you’ll use the first two.
Listen Up, Babes: Zag Club in Phuket is the gay bar — proper lighting, proper music, boys who know how to move. It’s on Rat-U-Thit Road in Patong, and it does not apologize for a thing. Neither should you. Just… maybe book the afternoon speedboat next time.
The moment you pull into Tonsai Bay and see those limestone cliffs rising out of the water like God was showing off, I don’t care how wrecked you are — your jaw does the thing. My guy Chai, who ran the longtail boat transfers with a grin wider than the bay, saw my state immediately and handed me a cold bottle of water without a word. No judgment. Just water. Thai hospitality is Iconic.
He did, however, charge me double for the sunscreen he pulled from his bag. Earned it, honestly.
Here’s my Phi Phi hungover survival guide, because I’ve done the fieldwork so you don’t have to:
- Maya Bay — Done… but barely. Yes, it’s gorgeous. Yes, you’ve seen it in a movie. Yes, you will take seventeen nearly identical photos. Book the early access longtail (around 500–700 THB) before the tour boats swarm it. Hungover me still said wow. That means something.
- Monkey Beach — Absolutely not. Those monkeys are aggressive and you are in no condition to negotiate. Skip it, sis.
- The Viewpoint Hike — Bless your heart. It’s a 20-minute climb up steep stairs to a view that will make you forget every bad decision you made last night. I made it. Barely. A woman named Nong selling coconut water at the top looked at me with something between pity and respect. She charged me 80 THB. Worth every baht.
- Lunch at any beachside spot on Loh Dalum Bay — Done. Pad Thai. Fried rice. Chang beer if you’re brave, fresh watermelon juice if you’re smart. I was smart. Eventually.
Straight Talk: Phi Phi gets crowded. Loud. A little chaotic by midday. If you want the quiet version, take the longtail around to Phi Phi Leh early — before 10 AM — and you’ll feel like you have the whole island to yourself. Hungover or not, that version of Phi Phi will reset your soul.
I spent the afternoon horizontal on a sun lounger on Loh Dalum Beach watching the turquoise water and two extremely attractive men play paddleball with the kind of energy that made me question my life choices in the best possible way.
I see how this place could rest a weary soul. Or at minimum, a weary body that was at Zag until 3 AM.
Splurge vs. Save:
Save: Ferry from Rassada Pier — around 350–450 THB each way. Slow boat, but you’ll survive.
Splurge: Private speedboat day charter — around 3,500–5,000 THB — your own schedule, your own pace, no strangers watching you suffer. Worth it post-Zag, I’m telling you.
Would I do Phi Phi hungover again? Sure Jan. It turns out that the hangover and the insane natural beauty roughly cancel each other out, and you end up somewhere in the middle feeling like a very grateful, very hydrated human being.
Zag Club: 🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆 — no notes.
Phi Phi Island the morning after: 🍆🍆🍆🍆 — it waited for me, and I respect that.
Journey’s Verdict: Go to Phi Phi. Party at Zag first if you’re brave. Bring ginger chews, tip Chai well, and buy Nong’s coconut water at the top of that viewpoint without negotiating. It’s only kinky the first time.
Don’t Just Travel — Journey Wilde.
